Guys. Look At Your Family, The Ones You Love, Are You Prepared To Lose Them?

This is a long one but, worth the read.
Why do we wait until it’s almost too late see that we are hurting the ones we love and change?
When we met I was a bit of a bad boy, I realised that if we were going to have a chance I would have to give up all my old friends and my old life style. So I did because I knew I had found my soul mate. At the beginning everything was great; we worked as a team sharing the house work and the looking after our 4 year old daughter, went on days out and enjoyed being a family. Then we got married and it was the best day of my life I was happy, I was married to my best friend, my soul mate. But things started to slide down hill within months, she fell pregnant and I just sat back and let her do everything and I mean everything. We split up and I was nasty to her at first because I was angry at myself, we eventually got back together after about 9 months with me promising to change (that didn’t last long).
We had our third child in ’02, moved house and we were happy for a time although I had slipped back into my old ways several times and made promises to change which I did for a short time. We moved house again finally getting on the property ladder. Things were ok for a short time until I reverted back to my old ways, jobs in the house never got done (3 years for me to even nearly complete the decking), and decorating left and there was no excuse for it we had all the stuff. Eventually after waiting for me to do things that I could do and do well she did what she could herself. I was working but my wife was doing a full time degree, working and looking after the 3 kids and I thought that I was doing the lions share (selfish of me I know) and saying that I would do the jobs and that I sorry. My wife fell ill and I gave up my day job to ease the burden and look after her and the kids. This didn’t work out as I had to take a night job and couldn’t get up in the after noon’s to get my children from school and although my wife was ill and still working she would have to leave work and pick up the kids, then come home, make the dinner and clean the house and I still didn’t get it. I was thinking more about myself than my family.
Eventually I gave up the nights and went back to days, my wife was a bit better and we needed the money. Unfortunately I had to work away from home and only really got home on weekends. Things did not improve, I was neglecting to spend time with the kids and shouted at them and my wife allot. I left my wife to sort out the house work, the kids, the bills and basically thought about myself. She has tried to tell me that what I was doing to her and the kids was hurting them and ruining our marriage but I wouldn’t see it, all I could see was that I was working hard all week and how difficult could it be to run a house. I would always come home to an immaculate house, 3 wonderful kids and a stunning wife.
Christmas ‘08 (the best one for us in a long time) came and I really saw my wife and children and for the first time in a long time. I saw how tiered the woman I was in love with was, how unhappy my children really where and the house that I had made them live in and saw how I had been treating them. I was so ashamed and hated myself and when I looked in the mirror I saw my father. Then and there I decided that I was going to change, I would not be my father and give my kids my childhood, or my wife my mother’s life any more, I would be the father I always wanted to be for my kids, and be the man that my beautiful wife fell in love with because I finally realised that I was losing them all. At that moment I felt good and something, I can’t explain the feeling, something altered/changed in me I think it was finally admitting I had a problem and I felt myself for the first time in year and I hoped that it wasn’t too late.
New Year came; I was made redundant and was unable to find any permanent work as a lorry driver. I decided that I would use this time as an opportunity to not only become the father I want to be, be the man my wife fell in love with but also change my career and give my family the life they deserve. I couldn’t change overnight but the changes had started and I hoped that my wife would see. Unfortunately she has seen me change for a short period and heard the words I’m sorry so many times before. Since then I have taken over the running of the house, cooking, cleaning etc. I did this because I wanted to and well what an eye opener! I never realised how hard it was to look after 3 kids and a house and I wasn’t working. I just wish that I had seen what I was putting my wife and kids through years earlier and worked as a team with my wife, which is something she has always asked me to do and I didn’t get it, but I do now. Since January I have changed and become the man I used to be I no longer see my father in the mirror. I spend more time with my kids, reading to them, taking them out, making their meals inste